I am cheating.  Rather than writing a brand-new poem, which is what we are supposed to do during National Poetry Writing Month, I am posting a poem that I wrote nine months ago.  Some friends wrote a book with a similar theme, so I dug this out today.  Also, on Day 9, the NaPoWriMo was “to write a poem that includes a line that you’re afraid to write. ” That line exists in this poem.

Reverse poem in which I reflect on my thoughts

My fear
Is bigger than
God’s love for me
“I want to run away.”
I will never again say
“I am free.”
Or
“I can stay here and be okay.”
I believe
Vulnerability is terrifying.
I no longer think
I am lovable.
I will never be good enough.
It is not true that
I am strong.
I am damaged goods.
Nobody believes
There is joy available for me.
Sorrow is my only option.
I used to think
I am strong enough to let down my guard.
I now know that
“I am broken.”
I will no longer say
“I can be whole.”

Now read each line in reverse order.

“I can be whole.”

I will no longer say

“I am broken.”

I now know that

I am strong enough to let down my guard.

I used to think

Sorrow is my only option.

There is joy available for me.

Nobody believes

I am damaged goods.

I am strong.

It is not true that

I will never be good enough.

I am lovable.

I no longer think

Vulnerability is terrifying.

I believe

“I can stay here and be okay.”

Or

“I am free.”

I will never again say

“I want to run away.”

God’s love for me

Is bigger than

My fear